Two days and no one has even taken a peek. Well, what do I expect when I don’t publish new stuff?
Hmmm…more Phone Follies? Nah, not today. I’m not out of stories, I just don’t have ay ready to spill out of my head. Boy, I am REALLY coming up empty here!!! It’s not really writer’s block., just nothing has me really driven to write except the fact that I DON’T feel like writing about anything.
Back to The Vault. In an earlier post or comment, I mentioned my e-mails at work. They were my main release for frustration,with many people finding out about my sometimes contentious yet bizarre sense of humor. One in particlar stands out in my memory as my favorite, to the extent that I’ve saved it.
I’ve sanitized it, removing references to clients and employers, including the name of the team manager in question. He has the same first and last name of a famous Hollywood movie director, which should be obvious from the body of the message:
Sent: Wednesday, December 06, 2006
It would be ever most helpful if I were to have something in my folder. This is a new team being formed and I would like to be able to introduce myself to them and give them their schedules. This would be most easily accomplished if I had the info.
- By the way, my name is actually spelled GEORGE (with one “R”).
I heartily apologize for this omission when we did the schedules last night—apparently, “The Force” was not with us. The responsible peon has been flogged, driven into the cold wailing and gnashing her teeth while pathetically clinging to her few pitiful possessions, her family, goods and chattels sold and the money used to erect a monument to you with an engraved scroll detailing the insult you endured. Is that sufficient??
As for the misspelling of your name, I have yet to locate an instance where your name WAS misspelled—at least, not by this office. Perhaps you need to clean your glasses.
Now, perhaps, the few, the proud, this happy band known as “Gxxxxx Lxxxx’ Team” will be come acquainted with your magnificence, and thus be inspired on to great and heroic deeds to the greater glory of (our client), (our employer) and the United States of America.
Fortunately (I think) I was so proud of this opus that I showed it to my supervisor before sending it. He was amused, but was not entirely certain that the manager-in-question would be, and “dissuaded”me from sending it. Several of my co-workers likewise found it entertaining, including his daughter, who concurred with my supervisor’s assessment that the manager would not have been pleased.
Many months later, after I had established a working rapport and friendship with this manager, I showed it to him. He, understanding my sense of humor by this time, laughed. Perhaps it did get better with age.