CallCenter Life III

This one is based upon a call I made TO Customer Service:

Thank you for calling Acme National Trash Services, how may I help you??

My trash was not picked up.

OK. Let me look at your account.  I see that your bill is past due, and services were cut off.

Yes, and whether I’m an air head for having missed the payment is still under review, but I also recieved a letter from your company today (the 7thday of the month) stating that the were willing to work with me as I was a “valued customer.”

Yes, sir that letter was mailed out on the 1st.  We cut off your services on the 2nd.

So you mailed a letter to me on the 1st promising to work with me, and I don’t receive it until the 7th.  There is no way I COULD have received this letter by the 2nd, and yet that is when you cut off my services.

Yes sir, that’s the policy.

Young lady, I hope this call is monitored.  Not because you have done anything wrong, but so your managers can listen to how stupid what they just made you say sounds.

NOTE:  I have since changed trash companies.   The old one has yet to come pick up their container.  If it’s here much longer I’m going to sell it at a yard sale.


Thank you for calling Blah Technical Support, my name is Ishmael, how may I help you?

I’m having trouble connecting to the Internet.

Who is you service provider??

Internet Explorer.

No, I mean who did you contact to connect your computer to the Internet?  Do you use AOL?  CompuServe?  A local ISP?

You mean I have to call someone else to connect?  You sold me this computer, YOU should make it connect for me!


Thank you for calling Blah Technical Support, my name is Ishmael, how may I help you?

Every time I try to dial into the Internet, I get an error that says “No Dial Tone.”

Are you sure that telephone line is active?

Yes, we’re speaking on it. 

How many phone lines do you have in the house?

Just this one.

Is someone else using the phone when you get these errors?

Yes- what difference does that–OH!!



2 thoughts on “CallCenter Life III

  1. Yeah. That trash company thing was stupid. And I’m surprised they don’t pick up their container: those thing *can’t* be cheap.

    Do you really call yourself Ishmael?

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