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	<title>Gladdad's Weblog</title>
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	<description>I was once called a terrible cynic; I'm a very GOOD cynic--I work very hard at my cynicism!</description>
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		<title>Gladdad's Weblog</title>
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		<title>Wisdom I&#8217;ve garnered</title>
		<link>http://gladdad.wordpress.com/2009/08/23/wisdom-ive-garnered/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 23 Aug 2009 21:09:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>gladdad</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Meanderings]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[


Human diversity makes tolerance more than a virtue; it makes it a requirement for survival



- Rene Dubos



&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-



Never explain &#8211; your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.



. &#8211; Benjamin Disraeli



&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-



Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.



- Simeon Strunsky



&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-



swallowing pride never choked anyone



&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-



Im not close-minded, you&#8217;re just wrong!



Bucky, &#8220;Get Fuzzy&#8221;



&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-



Disclaimer: [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=gladdad.wordpress.com&blog=4336820&post=156&subd=gladdad&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Human diversity makes tolerance more than a virtue; it makes it a requirement for survival</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">- Rene Dubos</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Never explain &#8211; your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">. &#8211; Benjamin Disraeli</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">- Simeon Strunsky</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">swallowing pride never choked anyone</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Im not close-minded, you&#8217;re just wrong!</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Bucky, &#8220;Get Fuzzy&#8221;</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Disclaimer: They&#8217;re my opinions, but they&#8217;re your problem.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="32" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">It was when I received the endorsement of Alec Guiness that I knew the Force was with us.</p>
<p>- Martin Bell, MP for Tatton</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">To be pleased with one&#8217;s limits is a wretched state.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Johann Wolfgang von Goethe</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half,</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">to the age of their best friend.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Marcel Achard</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Tomorrow is no place to place your better days</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">*~*Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs my darling&#8230;*~*</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">I have been working outside the box for so long I lost the BOX</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="32" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">My uncle stole 23 cans of beer but they cannot take him to court</p>
<p>because they do not have a case.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Buckle Up! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car!</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">The worst computer virus is an uneducated user</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Cardinal Glick: The first of many revamps the &#8220;Catholicism WOW!&#8221;</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">campaign will unveil over the next year . . . I give you the Buddy</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Christ,&#8230; Christ didn&#8217;t come to Earth to give us the willies. He</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">came to help us <strong><span style="text-decoration:underline;">&#8220;Dogma&#8221;</span></strong></p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="32" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did,</p>
<p>but people will never forget how you made them feel.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">It&#8217;s better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Elizabeth Kenny</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">significance of a clean desk?</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Laurence J. Peter US educator &amp; writer (1919 &#8211; 1988)</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Sometimes it is not enough to do our best; we must do what is required.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="32" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">That is not dead which can eternal lie. But given many strange</p>
<p>aeons, even death may die -H.P.Lovecraft</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="49" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">What is man without the beast, for without the beast man would soon</p>
<p>die from great loneliness of spirit. For whatever happens to the</p>
<p>beast, soon happens to the man. All things are connected. -chief</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Change is inevitable&#8211; except from a vending machine.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="32" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being</p>
<p>ridiculous &#8211; everyone hasn&#8217;t met me yet.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">-Rodney Dangerfield-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">If at first you don&#8217;t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8211; Bill Lyon</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">If you truly believe in your own dreams and move towards them, and if</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">you are positive and energetic in your pursuit of these dreams…then</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">nothing will or can stand in your way.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">seemingly good advice, ignore them both.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Al Franken, &#8220;Oh, the Things I Know&#8221;, 2002</p>
<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p>The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people</p>
<p>suffer from a mental illness. Think of your three closest friends, if</p>
<p>they are ok, then it&#8217;s you</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8220;I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">going really fast, and stick it out the window.&#8221;</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">***</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8220;I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.&#8221;</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Steven Wright</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Steven Wright</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night,</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">and the road downhill all the way to your door.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">If you truly believe in your own dreams and move towards them, and if</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">you are positive and energetic in your pursuit of these dreams…then</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">nothing will or can stand in your way.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Share and Enjoy!</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="32" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Then the idiot who praises with enthusiastic tone,</p>
<p>All centuries but this and every country but his own.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">The Mikado</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8211;</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
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<td height="32" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Whoever does not miss the Soviet Union has no heart. Whoever wants</p>
<p>it back has no brain.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">-Vladimir Putin-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">There are 10 types of people in the world&#8230;.those who know binary,</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">and those who do not.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I&#8217;ve</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">never tried before.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">- Mae West (1892-1980)</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Life is too short to have anything but delusional notions about yourself.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">-Gene Simmons of KISS-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">I couldn&#8217;t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">I am impelled, not to squeak like a grateful and apologetic mouse,</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">but to roar like a lion out of pride in my profession.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">-John Steinbeck-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Some people are like Slinkies. They&#8217;re really good for nothing. But</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">flight of stairs.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">I have opinions of my own &#8212; strong opinions &#8212; but I don&#8217;t always</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">agree with them. -George Bush</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Eagles may soar, but weasels don&#8217;t get caught in jet engines.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">It&#8217;s hard to soar with the eagles when you&#8217;re surrounded by turkeys</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8230;the one who has learned to overcome self-contempt has overcome</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">their contempt for others.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Remember they can kill you but they can&#8217;t eat you that&#8217;s against the Law</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">The Chain Around The Neck of Humanity is Our Tendency to Pass</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Judgments on Others.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8221; A man is not finished when he&#8217;s defeated; he&#8217;s finished when he</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">quits.&#8221; Richard Nixon</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">The man who comes back through the Door in the wall will never be</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">quite the same as the man who went out. He will be wiser but less</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">cocksure, happier but less selfsatified, humbler in acknowledging his</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">ignorance, yet better equipped to understand the relationship of</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">words to things, of systematic reasoning to the unfathomable Mystery</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">which it tries, forever vainly, to comprehend.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Aldous Huxley, The Doors of Perception</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8211; I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don&#8217;t know what to feed it.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">I had amnesia once &#8212; or twice.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8211; Protons have mass? I didn&#8217;t even know they were Catholic.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8211; What is a free gift? Aren&#8217;t all gifts free?</p>
<p></span></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* They told me I was gullible&#8230; and I believed them.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Teach A child to be polite and courteous in The home and, when he</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">grows up, he&#8217;ll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Experience is The thing you have left when everything else is gone.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* What if there were no hypothetical questions?</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8211; One nice thing about egotists: They don&#8217;t talk about other people.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* when The only tool you own is A hammer, every problem begins to</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">look like a nail.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* A flashlight is A case for holding dead batteries.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* My weight is perfect for My height &#8212; which varies.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8211; I used to be indecisive. Now I&#8217;m not sure.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8211; The cost of living hasn&#8217;t affected its popularity.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* How can there be self-help groups?</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* is there another word for synonym?</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* The speed of time is one-second per second.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* is it possible to be totally partial?</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8211; What&#8217;s another word for thesaurus?</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* if swimming is so good for your figure, How do you explain whales?</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8211; It&#8217;s not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* is it My imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">ALL WORDS AND EVENTS IN. THIS E-MAIL -EVEN THOSE BASED. ON REAL</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">PEOPLE&#8211;ARE ENTIRELY. FICTIONAL. ALL CELEBRITY VOICES. ARE</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">IMPERSONATED&#8230;..POORLY. THE FOLLOWING E-MAIL MAY CONTAIN COARSE</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">LANGUAGE. AND DUE TO ITS CONTENT IT. SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED OR READ BY.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">ANYONE.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">I&#8217;m confused&#8230;.wait, maybe I&#8217;m not.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">- Carl Sagan</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">I have not failed. I&#8217;ve just found 10,000 ways that won&#8217;t work.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">- Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">As you slide down the banisters of life may the splinters never point the wrong way.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Una salus victis nullam sperare salutem &#8211; The one safety for the vanquished is to abandon hope of safety; knowing there is no hope can</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">give one the courage to fight and win</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Valui ad satanam in computatrum meum invocandum &#8211; I succeeded in summoning satan into my computer</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Country Wisdom:</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Don&#8217;t name a pig you plan to eat.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Your fences need to be horse high, pig tight and bull strong.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Life ain&#8217;t about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Words that soak into your ears are whispered,,,,,,,not yelled.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Meanness don&#8217;t jest happen overnight.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Don&#8217;t sell your mule to buy a plow.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* It don&#8217;t take a very big person to carry a grudge.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* You cannot unsay a cruel word.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Every path has a few puddles.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* The best sermons are lived, not preached.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Most! of the stuff people worry about ain&#8217;t never gonna happen anyway</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Don&#8217;t squat down with your spurs on.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Don&#8217;t judge folks by their relatives.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you&#8217;ll enjoy it a second time.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Don&#8217;t interfere with somethin&#8217; that ain&#8217;t botherin&#8217; you none.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* It&#8217;s better to be a has-been than a never-was.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* The easiest way to eat crow is while it&#8217;s still warm.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin&#8217;.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* If it don&#8217;t seem like it&#8217;s worth the effort, it probably ain&#8217;t.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* It don&#8217;t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">*The biggest troublemaker you&#8217;ll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave your face in the mirror every mornin&#8217;.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* If you get to thinkin&#8217; you&#8217;re a person of some influence, try orderin&#8217; somebody else&#8217;s dog around.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Don&#8217;t worry about bitin&#8217; off more &#8216;n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger&#8217;n you think.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Only cows know why they stampede.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Always drink upstream from the herd.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* If you&#8217;re ridin&#8217; ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it&#8217;s still there with ya.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* Lettin&#8217; the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin&#8217; it back in.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">- George Washington Carver (1864-1943)</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">I&#8217;ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn&#8217;t it.</p>
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<ul><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"></p>
<li>Groucho Marx (1895-1977)</li>
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<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">He who increases wisdom, also increases sorrow.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">When a work lifts your spirits and inspires bold and noble thoughts</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">in you, do not look for any other standard to judge by: the work is</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">good, the product of a master craftsman.</p>
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<ul><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"></p>
<li>La Bruyere</li>
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<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</td>
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<td height="32" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Ah, but a man&#8217;s reach should exceed his grasp – or what&#8217;s a heaven for? &#8211;Robert Browning</p>
<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="65" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense</p>
<p>muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth.</p>
<p>Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your</p>
<p>life. &#8211;Joan Lunden</p>
<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">He that lives upon hope will die fasting.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">*Benjamin Franklin</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Don&#8217;t get hung up on &#8220;appreciating&#8221; art:</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world. &#8211;Edmond de Goncourt</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Any work of art that can be understood is the product of journalism. &#8211;Tristan Tzara</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">It is only an auctioneer who can equally and impartially admire all schools of Art. &#8211;Oscar Wilde</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">The Washington Post ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">(in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.)</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">3 . Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that,</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">The Washington Post&#8217;s Style Invitational once again asked readers to</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.</p>
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<td height="32" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn&#8217;t get it.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)</p>
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<td height="32" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">9 . Karmageddon (n): It&#8217;s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it&#8217;s like, a serious bummer.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">10 .Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">12 .Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">when they come at you rapidly.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you&#8217;ve accidentally walked through a spider web.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you&#8217;re eating.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">16. Ignoranus (n): A person who&#8217;s both stupid and an asshole. (My personal favorite!!)</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">I am an expert witness&#8211; because I say I am!</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Garden of Allah by Don Henley</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">If at first you don&#8217;t succeed, don&#8217;t try skydiving!!</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Except for Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism, War Has Never Solved Anything.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">I am wallowing in my own chaotic, insecure delusions&#8230;</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Homer: We’ll search out every place a sick twisted solitary misfit might run to.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Lisa: I’ll start with Radio Shack.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">–Simpsons – Treehouse of Horror VII</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">We will never be at peace with the nations next to us until we are at peace with the person who sleeps next to us.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">~Nathaniel Hawthorne Bronner Jr.~</p>
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<td height="32" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">We will never be at peace with the nations next to us, or the person sleeping next to us, if we are not at peace with the person within us.</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">~Mary Sier</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">If you could kick the posterior of the person who has hurt you the most, &#8230;you wouldn’t be able to sit down for six weeks. ~John Hagee~</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Pigs may fly, but they make very unlikely birds.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Love people and use things, Not love things and use people</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">There are two types of laws: there are just laws and there are unjust</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">laws&#8230; What is the difference between the two?&#8230;An unjust law is a</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">man-made code that is out of harmony with the moral law&#8230; Paul</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Tillich has said that sin is separation. Isn&#8217;t segregation an</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">existential expression of man&#8217;s tragic separation, an expression of</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">his awful estrangement, his terrible sinfulness?</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8211;Martin Luther King, Jr., 1963</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">The nation is sick; trouble is in the land, confusion all around&#8230;</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">stars. And I see God working in this period of the twentieth century.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Something is happening in our world. The masses of people are rising</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">up. And wherever they are assembled today, whether they are in</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Johannesburg, South Africa; Nairobi, Kenya; Accra, Ghana; New York</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">City; Atlanta, Georgia; Jackson, Mississippi; or Memphis, Tennessee,</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">the cry is always the same: &#8216;We want to be free.’</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8211; Martin Luther King, Jr., 3rd April 1968</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">silence of our friends.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">- Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)</p>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">WOMBAT</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">W-aste O-f M-oney B-rains A-nd T-ime</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8220;LINUX is like a wigwam&#8230;.no Windows, no Gates&#8230;..and an Apache inside!&#8221;</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">-o)</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">/\\ Message void if penguin is violated.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">\_V Don&#8217;t mess with the penguin.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">OVERCLOCKING &#8211; The process of installing high hopes, dumb luck, and</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">several paychecks into a rectangular box which transmits a signal to</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">a screen that displays your fate. The outcome is usually depressing.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Computer Slang: RTFM &#8211; This acronym stands for READ THE F***ING</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">MANUAL. This term is used generally when people ask questions that</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">are readily available in the manual.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">ONTC &#8211; One Neck To Choke; a single point of contact for all</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">communications, or, the one person to be held accountable for a</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">certain responsibility</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">One wonders for whom these hapless souls blog. Why do they choose to</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">expose their unremarkable opinions, sententious drivel and unedifying</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">private lives to the potential gaze of total strangers? What prompts</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">this particular kind of digital exhibitionism? The present generation</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">of bloggers seems to imagine that such crassly egotistical behavior</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">is socially acceptable and that time-honored editorial and filtering</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">functions have no place in cyberspace. Undoubtedly, these are the</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">same individuals who believe that the free-for-all, communitarian</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">approach of Wikipedia is the way forward. Librarians, of course, know</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">better.</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">* -Indiana University Dean and Rudy Professor of Information Science</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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<td height="16" valign="top"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Blaise Cronin</p>
<p></span></span></td>
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</tbody>
</table>
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		<title>New term for the day</title>
		<link>http://gladdad.wordpress.com/2009/02/15/new-term-for-the-day/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 15 Feb 2009 21:16:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>gladdad</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Life]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[  Your new term for today is &#8220;psoriatic arthritis.&#8221;  www.mayoclinic.com/health/psoriatic-arthritis/DS00476 
  You MAY have seen an ad for it in Time® magazine.  I had several times, but didn&#8217;t really notice how much the arm  in that ad looked like mine (minus the question mark formed by lesions.)  My back &#38; joints hurting has been an on [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=gladdad.wordpress.com&blog=4336820&post=152&subd=gladdad&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>  Your new term for today is &#8220;psoriatic arthritis.&#8221;  <span style="color:#008000;"><a href="http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/psoriatic-arthritis/DS00476">www.mayoclinic.com/health/psoriatic-<strong>arthritis</strong>/DS00476</a> </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">  You MAY have seen an ad for it in Time® magazine.  I had several times, but didn&#8217;t really notice how much the arm  in that ad looked like mine (minus the question mark formed by lesions.)  My back &amp; joints hurting has been an on &amp; off annoyance for years.  I dismissed it all as &#8220;getting older&#8221;  &#8212; until this winter. </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">  In December the pain and stiffness got so bad I couldn&#8217;t get out of bed without help.  My whole left side will periodically go numb,  and there&#8217;s a constant sensation of electricity down my left leg. </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">  The VA neurologist says I have a pinched nerve in my left hip.  The MRI ordered in conjunction with this exam confirms that I have arthritis in my lower back;  likewise a dermatologist has confirmed that the lesions are psoriasis.  When I went to school, 2 + 2 = 4 , unless you were doing it algebraically, which means there could be some imaginary number lurking in there somewhere.</span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">   My civilian doctor thinks the pinched nerve has nothing to do with the arthritis, but is a separate yet equally debilitating disorder.   So now I am doing battle with the VA about my arthritis trying to increase my disability rating as well as Workman&#8217;s Comp about the nerve.</span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">  All this with an employer with all the compassion of the Marquis de Sade.  When I told them about this, their response was to move me from what was a primarily desk job where I had freedom to get up and periodically relieve the pain in my leg to putting me in training to go back onto the production floor, where I will be connected to a phone and a computer eight hours a day- at least.</span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">  I went to my civilian doctor and asked for written work restrictions.  He asked &#8220;Why do you need those?&#8221;  Well, according HR at my employer, they can&#8217;t even file my Workman&#8217;s claim unless they have them, nor are they required to make any allowance for my alleged disorder.  <span style="color:#000000;">  The VA is reluctant to give me any WRITTEN work restrictions until all of my tests are complete.   They gave me some verbal advice, but this isn&#8217;t good enough for my employer. </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="color:#000000;">  So I am limited to sitting for no more than 15 minutes or standing for more that 30 .  Also I can&#8217;t lift anything heavier that 5 pounds&#8211; which lets Bailey, our &#8220;Schnoodle &#8220;, out because she weighs 11 pounds.   At least through April 1.  That&#8217;s when I see the VA doctor and hopefully get something more definite.   And this is strictly enforced, because if  I try to sit for longer, the pain is more than I care to stand.   It&#8217;s  more efficient than one of those house arrest ankle bracelets.  </span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="color:#000000;">  This week-end, I started using a cane.  It&#8217;s not so much to help me walk, but to get up when I&#8217;ve been sitting for too long.   Matter of fact, it&#8217;s getting to that point about now.  Oh, did I mention that I am allergic to aspirin and other NSAIDs?  More later when I feel better. </span></span></p>
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		<title>It wasn&#8217;t my fault!!</title>
		<link>http://gladdad.wordpress.com/2008/11/23/it-wasnt-my-fault/</link>
		<comments>http://gladdad.wordpress.com/2008/11/23/it-wasnt-my-fault/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 24 Nov 2008 02:31:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>gladdad</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[You Can't Make this stuff Up!]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tech support]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gladdad.wordpress.com/?p=150</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The technical aspects of this story will take some explaining for the average non-computer geeks in the audience. However, having had my wife tell me more than once &#8220;I know you&#8217;re speaking English, because I recognize some of the little words in between, but I have no idea what you just said,&#8221; I will try [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=gladdad.wordpress.com&blog=4336820&post=150&subd=gladdad&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>The technical aspects of this story will take some explaining for the average non-computer geeks in the audience. However, having had my wife tell me more than once &#8220;I know you&#8217;re speaking English, because I recognize some of the little words in between, but I have no idea what you just said,&#8221; I will try to keep the techno-babble to a minimum. Once I get to the &#8220;meat&#8221; of this story, you will see WHY this was something that I broke which was very important.  I was working as a Customer Service Technician for a major computer company. The company for which I actually worked was a wholly owned subsidiary of the parent company, so I didn&#8217;t actually work FOR the Big Company (hereafter known as &#8220;BC&#8221;), but my supervisors, support and training were all through the Big Company. If this is not clear, never mind. It actually has little to do with what I broke. Then again.</p>
<p>Now the BC had a contract to repair, replace and maintain Point of Sale computers (aka: computerized cash registers) for a very large retailer we shall refer to as Big Box Mart (hereafter known as &#8220;BBM&#8221;). Part of this included upgrading the individual store&#8217;s network from a token-ring network to an Ethernet network.</p>
<p>A token ring network was quite the feline&#8217;s nightwear when it came out. You could run several terminals off of one hub, and have them all happily communicating like geese in flight. However, as with most technology, it had its drawbacks. If one goose, for example, was removed from the flock, the whole flock shut down. This could be a problem for the remainder of the geese, who want to keep going but can&#8217;t without the one that needs attention. With Ethernet, the vet could see the one goose while the remainder continued to make money- er, I mean on their flight south.</p>
<p>BBM is a very centrally controlled organization. All decisions, down to thermostat settings, are (or were at this time) approved by BBM Command Central in (ah now-that&#8217;d be telling you what organization BBM actually IS! Mom &amp; Dad raised big kids, not stupid ones.) So when BBM Command Central decreed that this switch should be accomplished during the day, and not just during the day but at Noon, that was, as they say, that! This particular store was large enough to have two token-ring hubs. That way we could take half of the store off-line while the other terminals continued to working. This was the theory, anyway.</p>
<p>So here I was at the store, preparing to follow the instructions as prepared and sent out from BBM CC. There was no senior representative present from BC because they were all doing other stores, but it all appeared fairly straightforward. Remember, however, what they say about appearances. I coordinated with the local stores bicycle assembler / store tech support and proceeded to disable the first hub. Suddenly, we had several blue-smocked supervisors running in saying the front registers had all stopped working- at Noon. Apparently this store had the main switches for the individual hubs reversed from other stores, so that by carefully following the instructions from BBM CC and with no senior partner from BC with whom to confer, I effectively disabled this store in the middle of the shopping day. Had one of the senior representatives been present, they were aware of the switch-but they were all doing other stores. This can be a terrifying experience, unless one keeps one&#8217;s head. I simply re-enabled the front hub, which meant that the registers- I mean &#8220;terminals&#8221;- just had to go through their first-opening routine again. The store was down for less than 15 minutes-barely enough time for BBM CC to notice and call to ask why they weren&#8217;t receiving data.</p>
<p>I expected repercussions from this, but none were forthcoming. The store continued to trust my expertise, even as I installed the majority of the new terminals. Halfway through the job, BBM received permission to build a newer, even LARGER BBM on land across the alley from this one. Why did they put new equipment into a building they were vacating? Don&#8217;t ask me-ask BBM CC.</p>
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		<title>NaBloPoMo??</title>
		<link>http://gladdad.wordpress.com/2008/11/05/nablopomo/</link>
		<comments>http://gladdad.wordpress.com/2008/11/05/nablopomo/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 06 Nov 2008 03:32:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>gladdad</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Meanderings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NaBloPoMo]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gladdad.wordpress.com/?p=147</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[National Blog Post Month?  What&#8217;s next?? 
I just did this a coupla months ago, and look where it lead me.  Now I&#8217;m a member of two separate on-line writing groups and stumbled into the NaNoWriMo maelstrom. 
Likely the only person who will read this is the Green-eyed devil anyway, but that&#8217;s OK. 
Here&#8217;s a little poem I wrote for the [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=gladdad.wordpress.com&blog=4336820&post=147&subd=gladdad&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>National Blog Post Month?  What&#8217;s next?? </p>
<p>I just did this a coupla months ago, and look where it lead me.  Now I&#8217;m a member of two separate on-line writing groups and stumbled into the <a class="wp-caption-dd" title="National Novel Writing Month" href="http://www.nanowromo.org" target="_blank">NaNoWriMo</a> maelstrom. </p>
<p>Likely the only person who will read this is <a class="wp-caption-dd" title="Heather's Blog" href="http://www.greeneyewire.com" target="_blank">the Green-eyed devil </a>anyway, but that&#8217;s OK. </p>
<p>Here&#8217;s a little poem I wrote for the Halloween Contest on <a class="wp-caption-dd" title="Writers List" href="http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/writers" target="_blank">Writers</a>.  I took 2nd place (out of three entries, to be sure, but still 2nd.)</p>
<p>The Piper</p>
<p>Be alive and have fun like there&#8217;s no tomorrow;<br />
For the piper is cleaning his tools today;<br />
Someone must pay for my deep sorrow.</p>
<p>Today there is light and joy to borrow;<br />
Every bacillus must have it’s day;<br />
Be alive and have fun like there&#8217;s no tomorrow.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s not fair that my love now inhabits a barrow;<br />
All of my joy lies encased in the clay;<br />
Someone must pay for my deep sorrow.</p>
<p>All worms turn with the flight of time&#8217;s arrow;<br />
For now you may yet drink, dance and be gay;<br />
Be alive and have fun like there&#8217;s no tomorrow.</p>
<p>Now my love&#8217;s garden lies deeply in fallow;<br />
But the piper is coming, and he knows his prey;<br />
Someone must pay for my deep sorrow.</p>
<p>Payment in full is due upon the morrow;<br />
Her silk thread was cut short by your drunken play;<br />
Be alive and have fun like there&#8217;s no tomorrow;<br />
Someone must pay for my deep sorrow.</p>
<p>© 2008 William J. Sier  (Just in case anyone gets any silly ideas)</p>
<p>  I wrote a story, too, but I&#8217;ll leave that for another day.</p>
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		<title>Polly Ticks, an she&#8217;s a-gonna go BOOM!!!</title>
		<link>http://gladdad.wordpress.com/2008/10/05/polly-ticks-an-shes-a-gonna-go-boom/</link>
		<comments>http://gladdad.wordpress.com/2008/10/05/polly-ticks-an-shes-a-gonna-go-boom/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 05 Oct 2008 19:31:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>gladdad</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Meanderings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Elections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gladdad.wordpress.com/?p=143</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This was originally posted to Writers, a loose-knit group of people interested in writing as a profession- or just for the glorious joy of putting words together into sentences.  It was in response to the current thread on the presidential elections:  
The recent polemically wrangling rhetoric about political parties pandering to the baser instincts of the [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=gladdad.wordpress.com&blog=4336820&post=143&subd=gladdad&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><div id="message1988691501" class="undoreset clearfix"><em><strong>This was originally posted to </strong></em><a class="wp-caption-dd" title="Writers List" href="http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/writers" target="_blank"><em><strong>Writers</strong></em></a><em><strong>, a loose-knit group of people interested in writing as a profession- or just for the glorious joy of putting words together into sentences.  It was in response to the current thread on the presidential elections:  </strong></em></div>
<p>The recent polemically wrangling rhetoric about political parties pandering to the baser instincts of the easily-fooled electorate, educated or not, among this obviously polarized pack of pundits has attracted my attention.</p>
<p>Normally, I avoid writing or speaking about, discussing or discoursing upon politics. I used to work for a small weekly newspaper here in Kansas which was actually little more than a soap box for the editor. However, he had a loyal following, primarily because of his conservative views. He once asked me &#8220;How did you and your wife get together, and how the hell do you STAY together?&#8221; I explained that we simply do not discuss politics in our house, a rule I&#8217;ve had to enforce on my sons once or twice. Likewise I dislike discussing politics with friends or acquaintances.</p>
<p>I have recently found a bumper sticker that I actually saw fit to put on my car. I wasn&#8217;t actually LOOKING for a bumper sticker, and the fact that I found it in what passes for a &#8220;head shop&#8221; in Kansas has nothing to do with it&#8217;s content.</p>
<p>Anyway the bumper sticker reads &#8220;Republicans/Democrats: Same Shit Different Piles.&#8221;</p>
<p>I claim no party, and no party claims me. I grew up in the day when people blindly voted a &#8220;straight ticket.&#8221; If you were one, the other was automatically evil. I refuse to be that way.</p>
<p>I can&#8217;t see any difference in what&#8217;s being said by EITHER side. They both some across to me rather like the adults in a Charlie Brown TV Special- noise, but nothing intelligible. Come to think of it, what can the President actually DO about these issues everyone seems so upset about? &#8220;Bush&#8217;s War&#8221; was impossible without the consent of the Congress. Support for education, research and all of the other touch-points likewise had to go through Congress, then stand the test of judicial scrutiny. Has the Office of the President been reduced to a mere &#8220;prole&#8221; scape goat?</p>
<p>Feed the dog, stable the pony and remember where responsibility really lays. Where were all of these people who are upset about abuse in Iraq when Saddam was using chemical Weapons of Mass Destruction against the Kurds? Peace and stability in the Middle East? Get real- the region has been in an almost constant state of war since the locked the gates of Eden. The longest period of stability in the Balkans was under the post-WWII constant threat of Soviet Intervention. Giving the world a Coke will NOT make it all better.</p>
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		<title>Catharsis</title>
		<link>http://gladdad.wordpress.com/2008/10/01/catharsis/</link>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Oct 2008 00:30:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>gladdad</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gladdad.wordpress.com/?p=141</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m certainly glad that I wrote that last post.  It was very healthful, even if I did sound a little whinier than I intended.  I had never really gone through the whole process of &#8220;How We Lost Our Home&#8221;, and now I&#8217;ve written a new school year theme on the subject for my Creative Writing [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=gladdad.wordpress.com&blog=4336820&post=141&subd=gladdad&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>I&#8217;m certainly glad that I wrote that <a class="wp-caption-dd" title="Last post" href="http://gladdad.wordpress.com/2008/09/29/where-do-i-sign-up/" target="_blank">last post.</a>  It was very healthful, even if I did sound a little whinier than I intended.  I had never really gone through the whole process of &#8220;How We Lost Our Home&#8221;, and now I&#8217;ve written a new school year theme on the subject for my Creative Writing Seminar monitored by Ms. Heather<a class="wp-caption-dd" title="Gren Eyed devil" href="http://www.greeneyewire.com/" target="_blank">Greeneyes</a>. </p>
<p>I feel the need to write further, however, because of a comment I received on another forum to a similar posting.   Someone asked me &#8220;Did you expect someone else to help you get it fixed?&#8221;</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t any anyone to think that I don&#8217;t feel ultimately responsible for what happened.  I could have gone to my family for assistance, and did as a stop gap measure a couple of times.   However, when it came down to it, I finally told them &#8220;I made this bed, and now I need to lie in it.&#8221;  I should have realized that they were merely feeding out the rope from which I would eventually would find myself dangling.  I thought I was smart enough to get through it.  I had no idea. </p>
<p>What irritates me is they gave me no quarter when I asked for help or tried to explain my circumtances to them.  They didn&#8217;t care.  Why should I now care that business pratices they went to school to learn have now failed them?  Why should my tax dollars be used to help them when they weren&#8217;t available to me? </p>
<p>There was a federal grant program advertised here for people who needed assistance with home repairs.  However, we always were just outside of the income range&#8211;  we made TOO MUCH money to qualify.  Now these clowns with their gas-guzzling land yachts want <a class="wp-caption-dd" title="Definition of schlemiel" href="http://www.thefreedictionary.com/schlemiels" target="_blank">schlemiels</a> like ME to bail them out?</p>
<p>Is this a great country or what?</p>
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		<title>Where do I sign up?</title>
		<link>http://gladdad.wordpress.com/2008/09/29/where-do-i-sign-up/</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 29 Sep 2008 20:23:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>gladdad</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Meanderings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[You Can't Make this stuff Up!]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bail out]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mortgage crisis]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Bush Officials Urge Swift Action on Rescue Powers
NYTimes.com
Bush seeks $700B for debt bailout
CNN
Economists: Financial bailout necessary
MSNBC
&#8220;People who go broke in a big way never miss any meals. It is the poor jerk who is shy half a slug who must tighten his belt. &#8221; The Notebooks of Lazarus Long
Where were all of these helpful people [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=gladdad.wordpress.com&blog=4336820&post=130&subd=gladdad&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>Bush Officials Urge Swift Action on Rescue Powers<br />
<a class="wp-caption-dd" title="Bailout plan NY Times" href="http://nytimes.com/" target="_blank">NYTimes.com</a></p>
<p>Bush seeks $700B for debt bailout<br />
<a class="wp-caption-dd" title="Bail Out CNN" href="http://money.cnn.com/2008/09/21/news/economy/bailout_proposal_Sunday/index.htm?postversion=2008092110" target="_blank">CNN</a></p>
<p>Economists: Financial bailout necessary<br />
<a class="wp-caption-dd" title="Bail Out NSNBC" href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032553/" target="_blank">MSNBC</a></p>
<p>&#8220;People who go broke in a big way never miss any meals. It is the poor jerk who is shy half a slug who must tighten his belt. &#8221; <a class="wp-caption-dd" title="Wisdom" href="http://www.angelfire.com/or/sociologyshop/lazlong.html#inter" target="_blank">The Notebooks of Lazarus Long</a></p>
<p>Where were all of these helpful people two years ago when we needed a bailout?  We are classic &#8220;victims&#8221;, if that is the correct word, of the Mortgage Mess.</p>
<p>We had a nice house.  It wasn&#8217;t showy or very big, but it was ours.  Well, MOSTLY ours.  To quote a song by the late, great <a class="wp-caption-dd" title="Lord Mr Ford" href="That me and the finance company own" target="_blank">Jerry Reed</a> &#8220;That me and the finance company own&#8221;.  &#8220;Owned&#8221; is the correct verb. </p>
<p>Like (m)any other chump(s) in the late 90&#8217;s I tried to keep it as nice as possible, while enhancing the resale value.  New siding and windows came first.  It was really first-rate viny siding, and very good double-paned windows.  The contractor even knew a banker looking to make this kind of home improvement 2nd mortgage loan.  The plan was we were to get the work done, and then she was supposed to help us get a new mortgage at a lower rate for the whole amount.  That was the plan.  However:</p>
<p>&#8220;The best laid schemes o&#8217; Mice an&#8217; Men,<br />
Gang aft agley,<br />
An&#8217; lea&#8217;e us nought but grief an&#8217; pain,<br />
For promis&#8217;d joy!<br />
(The best laid schemes of Mice and Men<br />
oft go awry,<br />
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,<br />
For promised joy!)   <a class="wp-caption-dd" title="To a mouse" href="http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/32287.html" target="_blank">Robert Burns</a>, To a Mouse (Poem, November, 1785)</p>
<p>Next there were the termites they discovered while replacing the patio door. I&#8217;d never seen a termite before, but there was little doubt in my mind what those stupid little white ants were. Hello, exterminator.</p>
<p>After the loan went through and the work was done, I couldn&#8217;t find the loan officer. The offices where they had been were empty. This was not a fly-by-night operation. This was a real bank and a banker of some standing in the community.</p>
<p>So anyway there we are with a nice looking house and two mortgages. We should have sold it then, without the loan officer, but this was at a time when the local military base was undergoing a downsizing, with the major unit moving to Europe. Schools built to accommodate the families of soldiers and support personnel were closed, and houses didn&#8217;t move in that market. By 1993, we had filed bankruptcy.</p>
<p>After The Floods of 1993, the ground started moving at an accelerated rate. We escaped the water, but the false-stability of the ground was disturbed. First the foundation cracked. If you are unfamiliar with Kansas geology and building practices, imagine if you will houses built on the old flood plain of a river, down stream from the dam constructed to control the flooding but outside of the levees. &#8220;Geology&#8221; actually implies rock. &#8220;Sandy Clay&#8221; is a better description. Houses built upon slabs of concrete on land that calling it &#8220;unstable&#8221; is a gross misnomer. Water line breaks were routine, and to find a house without a cracked foundation and wonky walls was a rarity.</p>
<p>It got so bad we could see light coming in beneath the south wall in the master bedroom. The floors were like a rolling plain beneath the carpeting from all of the cracks. So another mortgage was necessary to get at least the south end of the house lifted. Then part of the ceiling started to collapse because of all the foundation movement.</p>
<p>My wife started talking about gasoline and matches. I started hoping for a tornado- less suspicious. They had discovered a small geologic fault running beneath the dam by this time, and everyone had earthquake insurance added onto their policy. I tried to convince my agent to consider that it all MAY have started with a small earthquake, but he thought I was kidding.</p>
<p>We had to wait until after 2000 to get his done, until the bankruptcy had been completely discharged, but eventually</p>
<p>we got the one end of the house done. I thought it was odd that the mortgage officer that we went through kept adding onto our income until it &#8220;fit&#8221;, but he assured me that this was a common practice, coming to an &#8220;average&#8221; income level for our area.</p>
<p>So once again we limped along for several years, in hopes of getting yet another refinancing to fix the other end of the house. I should have looked skyward for inspiration &#8211; I might have seen the leaks in the roof. Another refinance, only not for what we had planned. THIS guy told me he knew of an appraiser that &#8220;if he didn’t see it, it wasn’t real&#8221; so he urged me to smooth out and/or otherwise cover up the undulating floors. That way the house would appraise for more and we could get more of a mortgage. We got a nice chunk of change, but not enough to do the rest of the foundation as well.</p>
<p>Finally we felt we were in a position to finish the foundation work. Someone started building multi-story houses along a nearby street, and property values skyrocketed. We thought with the increase in value we might finally be able to get the foundation done and sell this house. We were in the process of preparing for this when we discovered that the termites had not really left. No the hungry little… devils had come up behind a book shelf we had on the eastern wall, making many of our books hors d&#8217;oeuvres before proceeding on to the main structure. We couldn’t even interest anyone in the house as a potential &#8220;flip&#8221; with this combination of problems. We couldn’t afford it, we couldn’t fix it and we couldn’t even sell it. So we lost it.</p>
<p>One would think I should have been suspicious of all of these clowns and their machinations, and on one level I suppose I was. But I kept thinking eventually we’d sell the house, and everything would work out.</p>
<p>So why am I asking about OUR bailout? What excuse do these financiers have? They hoped it would continue for ever, and everyone would wind up happy, rich and comfortable. The minute things got tough for them, they start crying for the government to help them. Nobody rode to our aid. We received no such compassion &amp; understanding from them. I read about loan officers from these companies living in their cars and losing their condos, some living in their cars, and I say &#8220;wah!&#8221;</p>
<p>One mortgage company referred us to a debt assistance company. We had submitted all of our information to this outfit and they had sent it to them. So what did it accomplish? When I called to see what we could work out, they hadn’t even opened the packet. The representative had no idea what I was talking about, and just continued to demand payment.</p>
<p>Bailout?  Don&#8217;t those building have windows?  Feel free.</p>
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		<title>The People at the Other End of the Phone</title>
		<link>http://gladdad.wordpress.com/2008/09/20/the-people-at-the-other-end-of-the-phone/</link>
		<comments>http://gladdad.wordpress.com/2008/09/20/the-people-at-the-other-end-of-the-phone/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 20 Sep 2008 21:34:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>gladdad</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[You Can't Make this stuff Up!]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[call centers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[customer service]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[It has taken me a while to get around to writing this post, which is OK, because I understand now more what actually happened. However, I&#8217;ll let the incident speak for itself.
I monitor call volume at a telephone customer service center. I won&#8217;t mention the name of the company for which I work, nor will [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=gladdad.wordpress.com&blog=4336820&post=128&subd=gladdad&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p><span style="font-size:x-small;">It has taken me a while to get around to writing this post, which is OK, because I understand now more what actually happened. However, I&#8217;ll let the incident speak for itself.</p>
<p>I monitor call volume at a telephone customer service center. I won&#8217;t mention the name of the company for which I work, nor will I mention the name of the client. I feel this would be a breach of professional etiquette, if not in violation of some paranoid agreement they probably will I insist I signed of my own free will in the wee small hours of a wintry morning after an evenings&#8217; revelry. They shall be hereafter referred to as the Company and the Client.</p>
<p>The Client has very strict ideas about the number of agents that they want &#8220;on the phones&#8221; at any given time. I have come to believe that they divine these numbers using a Ouija board and fish entrails, but however the get them, that&#8217;s what they expect. There are multiple centers, so someone has to keep track of how many agents there are through ALL of them to see how we measure up against the predicted number.</p>
<p>The Company is in the business of running call centers. They have the experience to know how many agents are necessary. Those of us that have worked for the Company for longer than a day or two have seen all manner of calls wander down the wire, and all manner of unforeseen incidents that can affect the number of calls received by any call center on any given day. It&#8217;s frequently feast or famine- either we&#8217;re up to our butts in alligators or we&#8217;re organizing Canasta tournaments.</p>
<p>One weekend the Company, in league with some upper to middle range representatives of the Client, decided to show those with decision making power within the Client that these numbers were unrealistic. So it was decreed that we would have NO MORE agents answering calls at all centers than the number provided by the Client&#8217;s bean counters. For example, if the predicted number of agents needed for a particular half-hour period was 150, we could have no more than that number taking calls at ALL centers. This called for co-ordination between centers on an unprecedented scale. It also meant that no matter HOW many calls we had waiting, if we had MORE than 150 people &#8220;on the phones&#8221;, we had to take them off an have them do training or attend team meetings or clean the center or organize a Canasta tournament.</p>
<p>The problem was that we frequently had as many as 200+ people in the queue waiting to be served, JUST at the call center where I worked. Those calls were left unanswered. Too bad, but a point had to be made. It was very confusing, let me tell you.</p>
<p>However, it left me wondering. What about all of those people at the other end of the phone, who called in expecting &#8220;customer service?&#8221; WHERE was the customer service in this exercise? How many customers were sacrificed to this little spat?</p>
<p></span></p>
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		<title>A Public Service Announcement About Removing Tires</title>
		<link>http://gladdad.wordpress.com/2008/09/15/a-public-service-announcement-about-removing-tires/</link>
		<comments>http://gladdad.wordpress.com/2008/09/15/a-public-service-announcement-about-removing-tires/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Sep 2008 03:01:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>gladdad</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[changing tires]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[frustration]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gladdad.wordpress.com/?p=124</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I have noticed a fair number of people finding my little corner of the blogsphere by searching for &#8220;getting a tire off of a GEO Metro&#8221; or &#8220;hammer as tire removal tool&#8221; or &#8220;brute force VS. explosives in tire removal&#8221;.
Before any of you get too involved with an ATF investigation while upsetting your neighbors, let me assure [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=gladdad.wordpress.com&blog=4336820&post=124&subd=gladdad&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>I have noticed a fair number of people finding my little corner of the blogsphere by searching for &#8220;getting a tire off of a GEO Metro&#8221; or &#8220;hammer as tire removal tool&#8221; or &#8220;brute force VS. explosives in tire removal&#8221;.</p>
<p>Before any of you get too involved with an ATF investigation while upsetting your neighbors, let me assure you it IS possible. </p>
<p>The person at the Midas<span style="font-size:medium;">™</span> shop to whence I took my ailing Metro said that sometimes the rim on this model will rust around the center, causing it to stick to the suspension:</p>
<p><a class="wp-caption-dd" title="GEO Metro Rims" href="http://www.iautobodyparts.com/rimswheel_covers-catalog/geo/metro.html" target="_blank">http://www.iautobodyparts.com/rimswheel_covers-catalog/geo/metro.html</a></p>
<div id="attachment_126" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 256px"><a href="http://gladdad.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/wheel.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-126 " title="wheel" src="http://gladdad.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/wheel.jpg?w=246&#038;h=240" alt="Geo Metro Wheel" width="246" height="240" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Geo Metro Wheel</p></div>
<p style="text-align:left;">He figured my WD-40 soaking and driving it to the shop loosened it sufficiently to facilitate removal. </p>
<p style="text-align:left;">Personally, I still think the car was laughing at me.</p>
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		<title>That smell isn&#8217;t just coming from Denmark, Hamlet.</title>
		<link>http://gladdad.wordpress.com/2008/09/15/that-smell-isnt-just-coming-from-denmark-hamlet/</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Sep 2008 02:14:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>gladdad</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Meanderings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gas price]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;I think, however more than just Texans are going to be affected by this storm. It is said that 25% of the oil refineries are located off the Texas coast. There are already places that are advertising $5 gas.&#8221;
http://www.greeneyewire.com/foo/bracing-for-hurricane-ike/
Having just returned from Illinois, where I found Regular Gasoline going for $4.05 a gallon, I was [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=gladdad.wordpress.com&blog=4336820&post=122&subd=gladdad&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p><span style="font-size:x-small;">&#8220;I think, however more than just Texans are going to be affected by this storm. It is said that 25% of the oil refineries are located off the Texas coast. There are already places that are advertising $5 gas.&#8221;</p>
<p><a href="http://www.greeneyewire.com/foo/bracing-for-hurricane-ike/">http://www.greeneyewire.com/foo/bracing-for-hurricane-ike/</a></p>
<p>Having just returned from Illinois, where I found Regular Gasoline going for $4.05 a gallon, I was glad to return to Kansas, where it&#8217;s only $3.75. Also, we saw places in Missouri where it as $3.40 a gallon. And yet some places are charging $5.00 a gallon, because of <a class="wp-caption-dd" title="Gouge" href="http://blogs.wsj.com/environmentalcapital/2008/09/15/ike-watch-hurricane-didnt-slam-refining-but-gas-prices-will-rise/" target="_blank">Hurricane Ike</a>.</p>
<p>I remember the evening the First Gulf War started.  I was still working Security at Farrell Library on K-State, which meant I stayed until everyone was out and locked up.  I was listening to the news about the beginning of the air strikes, when &#8220;what to my wondering eyes did appear but&#8221;,…&#8211; no, not a miniature sleigh or any number of reindeer but TWO EMPLOYEES OF A LOCAL GASOLINE EMPORIUM CHANGING THE PRICE OF THE GASOLINE ON THE SIGN!!  There was NO WAY anyone could have effectively known what, if any, affect the opening of hostilities wold have on the price of gas, and this station owner was out raising his prices.  I haven&#8217;t bought fuel from him since.</p>
<p>Immediately after 9/11 gas stations raised their prices, and fools lined up to top off their cars at the inflated price.  This before we had any solid PROOF that it was Middle Eastern extremmists whohad carried out the attacks!!  (And lest you ask &#8220;Who else would do such a heinous thing?&#8221; allow me to point out that the Oklahoma City Bombing as carried out by a white-bread caucasian Gulf War Veteran.)</p>
<p>Oh for heaven&#8217;s sake!!  The freakin&#8217; hurricane was probably still miles off shore when they were raising gas prices!! </p>
<p>I believe this exchange from a 1980 movie called &#8220;<a class="wp-caption-dd" title="The Formula" href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080754/quotes" target="_blank">The Formula</a>&#8221; explains much:</p>
<p> <a href="http://gladdad.wordpress.com/name/nm0819525/"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small;">Arthur Clements</span></strong></a><span style="font-size:x-small;">: [proposing that Titan Oil can raise their gasoline prices] The people will accept the 12 cents now because we can blame it on the Arabs!<br />
</span><a href="http://gladdad.wordpress.com/name/nm0000008/"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small;">Adam Steiffel, Chairman Titan Oil</span></strong></a><span style="font-size:x-small;">: Ah, Arthur, you&#8217;re missing the point: We *are* the Arabs. …<span style="font-size:x-small;">We&#8217;re not in the oil business; we&#8217;re in the oil shortage business! </span></span></p>
<p>Why do SOME places have $5.00 a gallon gasoline and others have it for $3.40??  Is Missouri that much easier to reach than <a class="wp-caption-dd" title="Gouge II" href="http://www.9wsyr.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=066e3508-45e3-487a-8a0c-44e45e8effba" target="_blank">Georgia and South Carolina </a>?  Aren&#8217;t they actually CLOSER to the Gulf and all of those refineries?? California is another place I heard mentioned.  Aren&#8217;t they ALSO a major oil producing state? </p>
<p><strong><em>What The Market Will Bear</em></strong>.  It&#8217;s a basic tenet of business schools, although I&#8217;ve never attended a single one.  I did sell produce and Christmas Trees out of our yard in Illinois, and I had a paper route.  I know that if you have what people want (or think they need) they will pay for it. </p>
<p>Ask any pusher.</p>
<p></span></p>
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