Wisdom I’ve garnered

Human diversity makes tolerance more than a virtue; it makes it a requirement for survival

- Rene Dubos

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Never explain – your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.

. – Benjamin Disraeli

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Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.

- Simeon Strunsky

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swallowing pride never choked anyone

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Im not close-minded, you’re just wrong!

Bucky, “Get Fuzzy”

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Disclaimer: They’re my opinions, but they’re your problem.

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It was when I received the endorsement of Alec Guiness that I knew the Force was with us. - Martin Bell, MP for Tatton

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To be pleased with one’s limits is a wretched state.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half,

double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years

to the age of their best friend.

* Marcel Achard

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Tomorrow is no place to place your better days

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*~*Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs my darling…*~*

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I have been working outside the box for so long I lost the BOX

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My uncle stole 23 cans of beer but they cannot take him to court because they do not have a case.

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Buckle Up! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car!

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The worst computer virus is an uneducated user

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Cardinal Glick: The first of many revamps the “Catholicism WOW!”

campaign will unveil over the next year . . . I give you the Buddy

Christ,… Christ didn’t come to Earth to give us the willies. He

came to help us “Dogma”

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People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

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It’s better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life.

Elizabeth Kenny

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If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the

significance of a clean desk?

Laurence J. Peter US educator & writer (1919 – 1988)

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Sometimes it is not enough to do our best; we must do what is required.

- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

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That is not dead which can eternal lie. But given many strange aeons, even death may die -H.P.Lovecraft

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What is man without the beast, for without the beast man would soon die from great loneliness of spirit. For whatever happens to the beast, soon happens to the man. All things are connected. -chief

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Change is inevitable– except from a vending machine.

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I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.

-Rodney Dangerfield-

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If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.

– Bill Lyon

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If you truly believe in your own dreams and move towards them, and if

you are positive and energetic in your pursuit of these dreams…then

nothing will or can stand in your way.

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When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other

seemingly good advice, ignore them both.

Al Franken, “Oh, the Things I Know”, 2002 ————————————- The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people suffer from a mental illness. Think of your three closest friends, if they are ok, then it’s you

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“I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car

going really fast, and stick it out the window.”

***

“I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out.

Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.”

Steven Wright

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Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

* Steven Wright

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Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial

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Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

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May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night,

and the road downhill all the way to your door.

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If you truly believe in your own dreams and move towards them, and if

you are positive and energetic in your pursuit of these dreams…then

nothing will or can stand in your way.

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Share and Enjoy!

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Then the idiot who praises with enthusiastic tone, All centuries but this and every country but his own.

The Mikado

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Whoever does not miss the Soviet Union has no heart. Whoever wants it back has no brain.

-Vladimir Putin-

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There are 10 types of people in the world….those who know binary,

and those who do not.

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When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve

never tried before.

- Mae West (1892-1980)

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Life is too short to have anything but delusional notions about yourself.

-Gene Simmons of KISS-

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I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

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I am impelled, not to squeak like a grateful and apologetic mouse,

but to roar like a lion out of pride in my profession.

-John Steinbeck-

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Some people are like Slinkies. They’re really good for nothing. But

they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a

flight of stairs.

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I have opinions of my own — strong opinions — but I don’t always

agree with them. -George Bush

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Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get caught in jet engines.

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It’s hard to soar with the eagles when you’re surrounded by turkeys

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…the one who has learned to overcome self-contempt has overcome

their contempt for others.

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Remember they can kill you but they can’t eat you that’s against the Law

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The Chain Around The Neck of Humanity is Our Tendency to Pass

Judgments on Others.

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” A man is not finished when he’s defeated; he’s finished when he

quits.” Richard Nixon

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The man who comes back through the Door in the wall will never be

quite the same as the man who went out. He will be wiser but less

cocksure, happier but less selfsatified, humbler in acknowledging his

ignorance, yet better equipped to understand the relationship of

words to things, of systematic reasoning to the unfathomable Mystery

which it tries, forever vainly, to comprehend.

Aldous Huxley, The Doors of Perception

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– I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.

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I had amnesia once — or twice.

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– Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

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– What is a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

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* They told me I was gullible… and I believed them.

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* Teach A child to be polite and courteous in The home and, when he

grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.

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* Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

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* Experience is The thing you have left when everything else is gone.

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* What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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– One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people.

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* when The only tool you own is A hammer, every problem begins to

look like a nail.

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* A flashlight is A case for holding dead batteries.

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* My weight is perfect for My height — which varies.

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– I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

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– The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.

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* How can there be self-help groups?

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* is there another word for synonym?

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* Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

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* The speed of time is one-second per second.

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* is it possible to be totally partial?

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– What’s another word for thesaurus?

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* if swimming is so good for your figure, How do you explain whales?

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– It’s not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

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* is it My imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

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ALL WORDS AND EVENTS IN. THIS E-MAIL -EVEN THOSE BASED. ON REAL

PEOPLE–ARE ENTIRELY. FICTIONAL. ALL CELEBRITY VOICES. ARE

IMPERSONATED…..POORLY. THE FOLLOWING E-MAIL MAY CONTAIN COARSE

LANGUAGE. AND DUE TO ITS CONTENT IT. SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED OR READ BY.

ANYONE.

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I’m confused….wait, maybe I’m not.

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If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

- Carl Sagan

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I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

- Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)

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As you slide down the banisters of life may the splinters never point the wrong way.

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Una salus victis nullam sperare salutem – The one safety for the vanquished is to abandon hope of safety; knowing there is no hope can

give one the courage to fight and win

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Valui ad satanam in computatrum meum invocandum – I succeeded in summoning satan into my computer

Country Wisdom:

* Don’t name a pig you plan to eat.

* Your fences need to be horse high, pig tight and bull strong.

* Life ain’t about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

* Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered,,,,,,,not yelled.

* Meanness don’t jest happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Don’t sell your mule to buy a plow.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most! of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway

* Don’t squat down with your spurs on.

* Don’t judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.

* Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t botherin’ you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* It’s better to be a has-been than a never-was.

* The easiest way to eat crow is while it’s still warm.

* The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.

* If it don’t seem like it’s worth the effort, it probably ain’t.

* It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

* Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.

*The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave your face in the mirror every mornin’.

* If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.

* Don’t worry about bitin’ off more ‘n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger’n you think.

* Only cows know why they stampede.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there with ya.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.

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When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

- George Washington Carver (1864-1943)

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I’ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977) ————————————-

He who increases wisdom, also increases sorrow.

When a work lifts your spirits and inspires bold and noble thoughts

in you, do not look for any other standard to judge by: the work is

good, the product of a master craftsman.

La Bruyere ————————————-

Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp – or what’s a heaven for? –Robert Browning ————————————-

Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life. –Joan Lunden ————————————-

He that lives upon hope will die fasting.

*Benjamin Franklin

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Don’t get hung up on “appreciating” art:

A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world. –Edmond de Goncourt

Any work of art that can be understood is the product of journalism. –Tristan Tzara

It is only an auctioneer who can equally and impartially admire all schools of Art. –Oscar Wilde

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The Washington Post ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST

(in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.)

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3 . Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that,

when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

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The Washington Post’s Style Invitational once again asked readers to

take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9 . Karmageddon (n): It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

10 .Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12 .Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter

when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who’s both stupid and an asshole. (My personal favorite!!)

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I am an expert witness– because I say I am!

Garden of Allah by Don Henley

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If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try skydiving!!

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Except for Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism, War Has Never Solved Anything.

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I am wallowing in my own chaotic, insecure delusions…

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Homer: We’ll search out every place a sick twisted solitary misfit might run to.

Lisa: I’ll start with Radio Shack.

–Simpsons – Treehouse of Horror VII

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We will never be at peace with the nations next to us until we are at peace with the person who sleeps next to us.

~Nathaniel Hawthorne Bronner Jr.~

We will never be at peace with the nations next to us, or the person sleeping next to us, if we are not at peace with the person within us.

~Mary Sier

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If you could kick the posterior of the person who has hurt you the most, …you wouldn’t be able to sit down for six weeks. ~John Hagee~

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Pigs may fly, but they make very unlikely birds.

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Love people and use things, Not love things and use people

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There are two types of laws: there are just laws and there are unjust

laws… What is the difference between the two?…An unjust law is a

man-made code that is out of harmony with the moral law… Paul

Tillich has said that sin is separation. Isn’t segregation an

existential expression of man’s tragic separation, an expression of

his awful estrangement, his terrible sinfulness?

–Martin Luther King, Jr., 1963

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The nation is sick; trouble is in the land, confusion all around…

But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the

stars. And I see God working in this period of the twentieth century.

Something is happening in our world. The masses of people are rising

up. And wherever they are assembled today, whether they are in

Johannesburg, South Africa; Nairobi, Kenya; Accra, Ghana; New York

City; Atlanta, Georgia; Jackson, Mississippi; or Memphis, Tennessee,

the cry is always the same: ‘We want to be free.’

– Martin Luther King, Jr., 3rd April 1968

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In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the

silence of our friends.

- Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

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WOMBAT

W-aste O-f M-oney B-rains A-nd T-ime

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“LINUX is like a wigwam….no Windows, no Gates…..and an Apache inside!”

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-o)

/\\ Message void if penguin is violated.

\_V Don’t mess with the penguin.

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OVERCLOCKING – The process of installing high hopes, dumb luck, and

several paychecks into a rectangular box which transmits a signal to

a screen that displays your fate. The outcome is usually depressing.

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Computer Slang: RTFM – This acronym stands for READ THE F***ING

MANUAL. This term is used generally when people ask questions that

are readily available in the manual.

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ONTC – One Neck To Choke; a single point of contact for all

communications, or, the one person to be held accountable for a

certain responsibility

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One wonders for whom these hapless souls blog. Why do they choose to

expose their unremarkable opinions, sententious drivel and unedifying

private lives to the potential gaze of total strangers? What prompts

this particular kind of digital exhibitionism? The present generation

of bloggers seems to imagine that such crassly egotistical behavior

is socially acceptable and that time-honored editorial and filtering

functions have no place in cyberspace. Undoubtedly, these are the

same individuals who believe that the free-for-all, communitarian

approach of Wikipedia is the way forward. Librarians, of course, know

better.

* -Indiana University Dean and Rudy Professor of Information Science

Blaise Cronin

New term for the day

  Your new term for today is “psoriatic arthritis.”  www.mayoclinic.com/health/psoriatic-arthritis/DS00476

  You MAY have seen an ad for it in Time® magazine.  I had several times, but didn’t really notice how much the arm  in that ad looked like mine (minus the question mark formed by lesions.)  My back & joints hurting has been an on & off annoyance for years.  I dismissed it all as “getting older”  — until this winter.

  In December the pain and stiffness got so bad I couldn’t get out of bed without help.  My whole left side will periodically go numb,  and there’s a constant sensation of electricity down my left leg.

  The VA neurologist says I have a pinched nerve in my left hip.  The MRI ordered in conjunction with this exam confirms that I have arthritis in my lower back;  likewise a dermatologist has confirmed that the lesions are psoriasis.  When I went to school, 2 + 2 = 4 , unless you were doing it algebraically, which means there could be some imaginary number lurking in there somewhere.

   My civilian doctor thinks the pinched nerve has nothing to do with the arthritis, but is a separate yet equally debilitating disorder.   So now I am doing battle with the VA about my arthritis trying to increase my disability rating as well as Workman’s Comp about the nerve.

  All this with an employer with all the compassion of the Marquis de Sade.  When I told them about this, their response was to move me from what was a primarily desk job where I had freedom to get up and periodically relieve the pain in my leg to putting me in training to go back onto the production floor, where I will be connected to a phone and a computer eight hours a day- at least.

  I went to my civilian doctor and asked for written work restrictions.  He asked “Why do you need those?”  Well, according HR at my employer, they can’t even file my Workman’s claim unless they have them, nor are they required to make any allowance for my alleged disorder.    The VA is reluctant to give me any WRITTEN work restrictions until all of my tests are complete.   They gave me some verbal advice, but this isn’t good enough for my employer.

  So I am limited to sitting for no more than 15 minutes or standing for more that 30 .  Also I can’t lift anything heavier that 5 pounds– which lets Bailey, our “Schnoodle “, out because she weighs 11 pounds.   At least through April 1.  That’s when I see the VA doctor and hopefully get something more definite.   And this is strictly enforced, because if  I try to sit for longer, the pain is more than I care to stand.   It’s  more efficient than one of those house arrest ankle bracelets. 

  This week-end, I started using a cane.  It’s not so much to help me walk, but to get up when I’ve been sitting for too long.   Matter of fact, it’s getting to that point about now.  Oh, did I mention that I am allergic to aspirin and other NSAIDs?  More later when I feel better.

It wasn’t my fault!!

The technical aspects of this story will take some explaining for the average non-computer geeks in the audience. However, having had my wife tell me more than once “I know you’re speaking English, because I recognize some of the little words in between, but I have no idea what you just said,” I will try to keep the techno-babble to a minimum. Once I get to the “meat” of this story, you will see WHY this was something that I broke which was very important.  I was working as a Customer Service Technician for a major computer company. The company for which I actually worked was a wholly owned subsidiary of the parent company, so I didn’t actually work FOR the Big Company (hereafter known as “BC”), but my supervisors, support and training were all through the Big Company. If this is not clear, never mind. It actually has little to do with what I broke. Then again.

Now the BC had a contract to repair, replace and maintain Point of Sale computers (aka: computerized cash registers) for a very large retailer we shall refer to as Big Box Mart (hereafter known as “BBM”). Part of this included upgrading the individual store’s network from a token-ring network to an Ethernet network.

A token ring network was quite the feline’s nightwear when it came out. You could run several terminals off of one hub, and have them all happily communicating like geese in flight. However, as with most technology, it had its drawbacks. If one goose, for example, was removed from the flock, the whole flock shut down. This could be a problem for the remainder of the geese, who want to keep going but can’t without the one that needs attention. With Ethernet, the vet could see the one goose while the remainder continued to make money- er, I mean on their flight south.

BBM is a very centrally controlled organization. All decisions, down to thermostat settings, are (or were at this time) approved by BBM Command Central in (ah now-that’d be telling you what organization BBM actually IS! Mom & Dad raised big kids, not stupid ones.) So when BBM Command Central decreed that this switch should be accomplished during the day, and not just during the day but at Noon, that was, as they say, that! This particular store was large enough to have two token-ring hubs. That way we could take half of the store off-line while the other terminals continued to working. This was the theory, anyway.

So here I was at the store, preparing to follow the instructions as prepared and sent out from BBM CC. There was no senior representative present from BC because they were all doing other stores, but it all appeared fairly straightforward. Remember, however, what they say about appearances. I coordinated with the local stores bicycle assembler / store tech support and proceeded to disable the first hub. Suddenly, we had several blue-smocked supervisors running in saying the front registers had all stopped working- at Noon. Apparently this store had the main switches for the individual hubs reversed from other stores, so that by carefully following the instructions from BBM CC and with no senior partner from BC with whom to confer, I effectively disabled this store in the middle of the shopping day. Had one of the senior representatives been present, they were aware of the switch-but they were all doing other stores. This can be a terrifying experience, unless one keeps one’s head. I simply re-enabled the front hub, which meant that the registers- I mean “terminals”- just had to go through their first-opening routine again. The store was down for less than 15 minutes-barely enough time for BBM CC to notice and call to ask why they weren’t receiving data.

I expected repercussions from this, but none were forthcoming. The store continued to trust my expertise, even as I installed the majority of the new terminals. Halfway through the job, BBM received permission to build a newer, even LARGER BBM on land across the alley from this one. Why did they put new equipment into a building they were vacating? Don’t ask me-ask BBM CC.

NaBloPoMo??

National Blog Post Month?  What’s next?? 

I just did this a coupla months ago, and look where it lead me.  Now I’m a member of two separate on-line writing groups and stumbled into the NaNoWriMo maelstrom. 

Likely the only person who will read this is the Green-eyed devil anyway, but that’s OK. 

Here’s a little poem I wrote for the Halloween Contest on Writers.  I took 2nd place (out of three entries, to be sure, but still 2nd.)

The Piper

Be alive and have fun like there’s no tomorrow;
For the piper is cleaning his tools today;
Someone must pay for my deep sorrow.

Today there is light and joy to borrow;
Every bacillus must have it’s day;
Be alive and have fun like there’s no tomorrow.

It’s not fair that my love now inhabits a barrow;
All of my joy lies encased in the clay;
Someone must pay for my deep sorrow.

All worms turn with the flight of time’s arrow;
For now you may yet drink, dance and be gay;
Be alive and have fun like there’s no tomorrow.

Now my love’s garden lies deeply in fallow;
But the piper is coming, and he knows his prey;
Someone must pay for my deep sorrow.

Payment in full is due upon the morrow;
Her silk thread was cut short by your drunken play;
Be alive and have fun like there’s no tomorrow;
Someone must pay for my deep sorrow.

© 2008 William J. Sier  (Just in case anyone gets any silly ideas)

  I wrote a story, too, but I’ll leave that for another day.

Polly Ticks, an she’s a-gonna go BOOM!!!

This was originally posted to Writers, a loose-knit group of people interested in writing as a profession- or just for the glorious joy of putting words together into sentences.  It was in response to the current thread on the presidential elections: 

The recent polemically wrangling rhetoric about political parties pandering to the baser instincts of the easily-fooled electorate, educated or not, among this obviously polarized pack of pundits has attracted my attention.

Normally, I avoid writing or speaking about, discussing or discoursing upon politics. I used to work for a small weekly newspaper here in Kansas which was actually little more than a soap box for the editor. However, he had a loyal following, primarily because of his conservative views. He once asked me “How did you and your wife get together, and how the hell do you STAY together?” I explained that we simply do not discuss politics in our house, a rule I’ve had to enforce on my sons once or twice. Likewise I dislike discussing politics with friends or acquaintances.

I have recently found a bumper sticker that I actually saw fit to put on my car. I wasn’t actually LOOKING for a bumper sticker, and the fact that I found it in what passes for a “head shop” in Kansas has nothing to do with it’s content.

Anyway the bumper sticker reads “Republicans/Democrats: Same Shit Different Piles.”

I claim no party, and no party claims me. I grew up in the day when people blindly voted a “straight ticket.” If you were one, the other was automatically evil. I refuse to be that way.

I can’t see any difference in what’s being said by EITHER side. They both some across to me rather like the adults in a Charlie Brown TV Special- noise, but nothing intelligible. Come to think of it, what can the President actually DO about these issues everyone seems so upset about? “Bush’s War” was impossible without the consent of the Congress. Support for education, research and all of the other touch-points likewise had to go through Congress, then stand the test of judicial scrutiny. Has the Office of the President been reduced to a mere “prole” scape goat?

Feed the dog, stable the pony and remember where responsibility really lays. Where were all of these people who are upset about abuse in Iraq when Saddam was using chemical Weapons of Mass Destruction against the Kurds? Peace and stability in the Middle East? Get real- the region has been in an almost constant state of war since the locked the gates of Eden. The longest period of stability in the Balkans was under the post-WWII constant threat of Soviet Intervention. Giving the world a Coke will NOT make it all better.

Catharsis

I’m certainly glad that I wrote that last post.  It was very healthful, even if I did sound a little whinier than I intended.  I had never really gone through the whole process of “How We Lost Our Home”, and now I’ve written a new school year theme on the subject for my Creative Writing Seminar monitored by Ms. HeatherGreeneyes. 

I feel the need to write further, however, because of a comment I received on another forum to a similar posting.   Someone asked me “Did you expect someone else to help you get it fixed?”

I don’t any anyone to think that I don’t feel ultimately responsible for what happened.  I could have gone to my family for assistance, and did as a stop gap measure a couple of times.   However, when it came down to it, I finally told them “I made this bed, and now I need to lie in it.”  I should have realized that they were merely feeding out the rope from which I would eventually would find myself dangling.  I thought I was smart enough to get through it.  I had no idea. 

What irritates me is they gave me no quarter when I asked for help or tried to explain my circumtances to them.  They didn’t care.  Why should I now care that business pratices they went to school to learn have now failed them?  Why should my tax dollars be used to help them when they weren’t available to me? 

There was a federal grant program advertised here for people who needed assistance with home repairs.  However, we always were just outside of the income range–  we made TOO MUCH money to qualify.  Now these clowns with their gas-guzzling land yachts want schlemiels like ME to bail them out?

Is this a great country or what?

Where do I sign up?

Bush Officials Urge Swift Action on Rescue Powers
NYTimes.com

Bush seeks $700B for debt bailout
CNN

Economists: Financial bailout necessary
MSNBC

“People who go broke in a big way never miss any meals. It is the poor jerk who is shy half a slug who must tighten his belt. ” The Notebooks of Lazarus Long

Where were all of these helpful people two years ago when we needed a bailout?  We are classic “victims”, if that is the correct word, of the Mortgage Mess.

We had a nice house.  It wasn’t showy or very big, but it was ours.  Well, MOSTLY ours.  To quote a song by the late, great Jerry Reed “That me and the finance company own”.  “Owned” is the correct verb. 

Like (m)any other chump(s) in the late 90’s I tried to keep it as nice as possible, while enhancing the resale value.  New siding and windows came first.  It was really first-rate viny siding, and very good double-paned windows.  The contractor even knew a banker looking to make this kind of home improvement 2nd mortgage loan.  The plan was we were to get the work done, and then she was supposed to help us get a new mortgage at a lower rate for the whole amount.  That was the plan.  However:

“The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men,
Gang aft agley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy!
(The best laid schemes of Mice and Men
oft go awry,
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!)   Robert Burns, To a Mouse (Poem, November, 1785)

Next there were the termites they discovered while replacing the patio door. I’d never seen a termite before, but there was little doubt in my mind what those stupid little white ants were. Hello, exterminator.

After the loan went through and the work was done, I couldn’t find the loan officer. The offices where they had been were empty. This was not a fly-by-night operation. This was a real bank and a banker of some standing in the community.

So anyway there we are with a nice looking house and two mortgages. We should have sold it then, without the loan officer, but this was at a time when the local military base was undergoing a downsizing, with the major unit moving to Europe. Schools built to accommodate the families of soldiers and support personnel were closed, and houses didn’t move in that market. By 1993, we had filed bankruptcy.

After The Floods of 1993, the ground started moving at an accelerated rate. We escaped the water, but the false-stability of the ground was disturbed. First the foundation cracked. If you are unfamiliar with Kansas geology and building practices, imagine if you will houses built on the old flood plain of a river, down stream from the dam constructed to control the flooding but outside of the levees. “Geology” actually implies rock. “Sandy Clay” is a better description. Houses built upon slabs of concrete on land that calling it “unstable” is a gross misnomer. Water line breaks were routine, and to find a house without a cracked foundation and wonky walls was a rarity.

It got so bad we could see light coming in beneath the south wall in the master bedroom. The floors were like a rolling plain beneath the carpeting from all of the cracks. So another mortgage was necessary to get at least the south end of the house lifted. Then part of the ceiling started to collapse because of all the foundation movement.

My wife started talking about gasoline and matches. I started hoping for a tornado- less suspicious. They had discovered a small geologic fault running beneath the dam by this time, and everyone had earthquake insurance added onto their policy. I tried to convince my agent to consider that it all MAY have started with a small earthquake, but he thought I was kidding.

We had to wait until after 2000 to get his done, until the bankruptcy had been completely discharged, but eventually

we got the one end of the house done. I thought it was odd that the mortgage officer that we went through kept adding onto our income until it “fit”, but he assured me that this was a common practice, coming to an “average” income level for our area.

So once again we limped along for several years, in hopes of getting yet another refinancing to fix the other end of the house. I should have looked skyward for inspiration – I might have seen the leaks in the roof. Another refinance, only not for what we had planned. THIS guy told me he knew of an appraiser that “if he didn’t see it, it wasn’t real” so he urged me to smooth out and/or otherwise cover up the undulating floors. That way the house would appraise for more and we could get more of a mortgage. We got a nice chunk of change, but not enough to do the rest of the foundation as well.

Finally we felt we were in a position to finish the foundation work. Someone started building multi-story houses along a nearby street, and property values skyrocketed. We thought with the increase in value we might finally be able to get the foundation done and sell this house. We were in the process of preparing for this when we discovered that the termites had not really left. No the hungry little… devils had come up behind a book shelf we had on the eastern wall, making many of our books hors d’oeuvres before proceeding on to the main structure. We couldn’t even interest anyone in the house as a potential “flip” with this combination of problems. We couldn’t afford it, we couldn’t fix it and we couldn’t even sell it. So we lost it.

One would think I should have been suspicious of all of these clowns and their machinations, and on one level I suppose I was. But I kept thinking eventually we’d sell the house, and everything would work out.

So why am I asking about OUR bailout? What excuse do these financiers have? They hoped it would continue for ever, and everyone would wind up happy, rich and comfortable. The minute things got tough for them, they start crying for the government to help them. Nobody rode to our aid. We received no such compassion & understanding from them. I read about loan officers from these companies living in their cars and losing their condos, some living in their cars, and I say “wah!”

One mortgage company referred us to a debt assistance company. We had submitted all of our information to this outfit and they had sent it to them. So what did it accomplish? When I called to see what we could work out, they hadn’t even opened the packet. The representative had no idea what I was talking about, and just continued to demand payment.

Bailout?  Don’t those building have windows?  Feel free.

The People at the Other End of the Phone

It has taken me a while to get around to writing this post, which is OK, because I understand now more what actually happened. However, I’ll let the incident speak for itself.

I monitor call volume at a telephone customer service center. I won’t mention the name of the company for which I work, nor will I mention the name of the client. I feel this would be a breach of professional etiquette, if not in violation of some paranoid agreement they probably will I insist I signed of my own free will in the wee small hours of a wintry morning after an evenings’ revelry. They shall be hereafter referred to as the Company and the Client.

The Client has very strict ideas about the number of agents that they want “on the phones” at any given time. I have come to believe that they divine these numbers using a Ouija board and fish entrails, but however the get them, that’s what they expect. There are multiple centers, so someone has to keep track of how many agents there are through ALL of them to see how we measure up against the predicted number.

The Company is in the business of running call centers. They have the experience to know how many agents are necessary. Those of us that have worked for the Company for longer than a day or two have seen all manner of calls wander down the wire, and all manner of unforeseen incidents that can affect the number of calls received by any call center on any given day. It’s frequently feast or famine- either we’re up to our butts in alligators or we’re organizing Canasta tournaments.

One weekend the Company, in league with some upper to middle range representatives of the Client, decided to show those with decision making power within the Client that these numbers were unrealistic. So it was decreed that we would have NO MORE agents answering calls at all centers than the number provided by the Client’s bean counters. For example, if the predicted number of agents needed for a particular half-hour period was 150, we could have no more than that number taking calls at ALL centers. This called for co-ordination between centers on an unprecedented scale. It also meant that no matter HOW many calls we had waiting, if we had MORE than 150 people “on the phones”, we had to take them off an have them do training or attend team meetings or clean the center or organize a Canasta tournament.

The problem was that we frequently had as many as 200+ people in the queue waiting to be served, JUST at the call center where I worked. Those calls were left unanswered. Too bad, but a point had to be made. It was very confusing, let me tell you.

However, it left me wondering. What about all of those people at the other end of the phone, who called in expecting “customer service?” WHERE was the customer service in this exercise? How many customers were sacrificed to this little spat?

A Public Service Announcement About Removing Tires

I have noticed a fair number of people finding my little corner of the blogsphere by searching for “getting a tire off of a GEO Metro” or “hammer as tire removal tool” or “brute force VS. explosives in tire removal”.

Before any of you get too involved with an ATF investigation while upsetting your neighbors, let me assure you it IS possible. 

The person at the Midas™ shop to whence I took my ailing Metro said that sometimes the rim on this model will rust around the center, causing it to stick to the suspension:

http://www.iautobodyparts.com/rimswheel_covers-catalog/geo/metro.html

Geo Metro Wheel

He figured my WD-40 soaking and driving it to the shop loosened it sufficiently to facilitate removal. 

Personally, I still think the car was laughing at me.

That smell isn’t just coming from Denmark, Hamlet.

“I think, however more than just Texans are going to be affected by this storm. It is said that 25% of the oil refineries are located off the Texas coast. There are already places that are advertising $5 gas.”

http://www.greeneyewire.com/foo/bracing-for-hurricane-ike/

Having just returned from Illinois, where I found Regular Gasoline going for $4.05 a gallon, I was glad to return to Kansas, where it’s only $3.75. Also, we saw places in Missouri where it as $3.40 a gallon. And yet some places are charging $5.00 a gallon, because of Hurricane Ike.

I remember the evening the First Gulf War started.  I was still working Security at Farrell Library on K-State, which meant I stayed until everyone was out and locked up.  I was listening to the news about the beginning of the air strikes, when “what to my wondering eyes did appear but”,…– no, not a miniature sleigh or any number of reindeer but TWO EMPLOYEES OF A LOCAL GASOLINE EMPORIUM CHANGING THE PRICE OF THE GASOLINE ON THE SIGN!!  There was NO WAY anyone could have effectively known what, if any, affect the opening of hostilities wold have on the price of gas, and this station owner was out raising his prices.  I haven’t bought fuel from him since.

Immediately after 9/11 gas stations raised their prices, and fools lined up to top off their cars at the inflated price.  This before we had any solid PROOF that it was Middle Eastern extremmists whohad carried out the attacks!!  (And lest you ask “Who else would do such a heinous thing?” allow me to point out that the Oklahoma City Bombing as carried out by a white-bread caucasian Gulf War Veteran.)

Oh for heaven’s sake!!  The freakin’ hurricane was probably still miles off shore when they were raising gas prices!! 

I believe this exchange from a 1980 movie called “The Formula” explains much:

 Arthur Clements: [proposing that Titan Oil can raise their gasoline prices] The people will accept the 12 cents now because we can blame it on the Arabs!
Adam Steiffel, Chairman Titan Oil: Ah, Arthur, you’re missing the point: We *are* the Arabs. …We’re not in the oil business; we’re in the oil shortage business! 

Why do SOME places have $5.00 a gallon gasoline and others have it for $3.40??  Is Missouri that much easier to reach than Georgia and South Carolina ?  Aren’t they actually CLOSER to the Gulf and all of those refineries?? California is another place I heard mentioned.  Aren’t they ALSO a major oil producing state? 

What The Market Will Bear.  It’s a basic tenet of business schools, although I’ve never attended a single one.  I did sell produce and Christmas Trees out of our yard in Illinois, and I had a paper route.  I know that if you have what people want (or think they need) they will pay for it. 

Ask any pusher.